Argh, ive spent the last 5 weeks chasing my tail and the scale up and down and all over the place, needless to say im back at the beginning and starting again..... AGAIN!
im not gonna beat myself up over it, shit happens and life goes on, im a busy mum, most times i dont get a lot of time to focus on me so the end result isnt always ideal to my weight loss efforts.... but hey im still here and still tryin, thats the main thing :o)
Ive alloted a little 'me' time, Tuesday and Thursday evenings i go to Zumba! its great, full on, sooooo hectic and fast, gets the blood racing and ur heart thumping, and its run by a local church group so its just a group of gals tryin there best and laughin it up, its a fantastic stress buster i tell ya lol.
Next Tuesday im booked in for day surgery, ive opted to have a tubal ligation, i saw the Dr only 5 weeks ago and was told id be on the waiting list for about a year then I got a letter someone had canceled and there was an appointment open, which i snapped up. Funny though, as much as i know this is what i want, and whats best given that hubby and I only need look at each other and im preggers, it all feels quite strange, ive been an emotional mess, mood swinging fiercly from yes this is definatly what i want 300% to thinking 'what am i doing??... am i crazy??' i think a lot of its nerves, and then the finality of it all, and really, ive been a mum for 14 years, i dont have a job, a career, etc.... whats next if im not a mum looking after littlies? I guess it will all sort itself out, hubby has said that if in the future there is some fantastic force driving us to have another child we will do whatever is necesscary and make it so... but right now, i have my 5 precious lil souls and i really dont want any more (as my mind screams out in disagreement!!) BIGGG DECISIONS are by no means easy ones!
