So it seems yet again i get half way to my destination, i get extremely happy with my efforts, and i hit the pause button.... usually during this time i also pile the kg's back on but im pleased to say this time it hasnt happened, well i have put on 1kg but not the usual 5+, i put that down to work, being constantly on the run every night....
Im not overly stressed, i feel happy where im at, 75kg, size 14, BUT, my goal is 65kg, comfortable size 12, sooooo im hitting it again, slowly but surely i will downsize again. The main drive is that my whole winter wardrobe is size 12 and im spending big $$ just to buy the next size up haha.
Its strange, a couple of years ago i was hell bent on being a super skinny size 10 but these days i have no desire to be so slim, i think ive finally reached that point of self acceptance, i like me, infact i love me, i love my gorgeous hubby and kiddies, they keep me going and give me strength when times get tough and they are all i need, my extended family seems to have drifted to the back of my mind, my sister i see only at christmas and she will call in on the kids birthdays at 9'o'clock at night stay for 10 mins and then say she has to leave and take off, she is a user and the moment i refused to be used this is all we got from her but thats fine, shes a twit, id rather not see her. Mum is strange, given the history there will always be tension between us yet she thinks we are the best of friends, she is so fake even the kids see through her and point her fakeness out to me which i try to dismiss to them as id like them to have a good nan/grandchildren relationship despite our lack of relationship... and dad well i spoke to him briefly a couple of weeks back, hes a loon, he has seriously lost his shit, there have always been mental issues and i think given the fact that i removed myself from it for almost 12 months it really stands out now, but the kids have been asking to see him, so before easter i will see him again and have a chat on how things will be, he can only visit when invited, not call constantly, not expect that i be at his beck n call 24/4, not talk about mum with me or the kids (he is still extremely obsessed with her) and if he cant play by the rules he will be told to once again step out of our lives... simple really.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Still Slogging Away....
So far so good, there have been ups and downs, but overall I'm happy with the progress being made, 6.6kg down in 6 weeks is a pretty good average. Gold star for me (and Jason who is 5kg down) for sticking at it!
During the first 6 weeks of 2012 we have seen friends go through a lot of heartache, one mate, 36 years old has had a stroke, only a minor stroke and he is doing well but its a bloody worry. Another friend who is 40 has had a heart attack and is scheduled for a bypass, wtf, these are things we imagine we don't have to concern ourselves with at our age, I'll be 33 this year and Jase will be 35, these events have shocked me to the core and made me re-evaluate my reasons for getting healthy, some how it doesn't feel like I'm just trying to lose weight any more, I'm looking at the bigger picture...
In other news I'm still dealing with my immature mother who seems hell bent on destroying my father, they have been separated for a year now, she has just lodged her divorce papers, is 'on with' what was dads best mate, and is taking dad to court at the drop of a hat for what she says are breaches of the AVO she has in place, what i don't get is how she always manages to be everywhere he is and she then says its him.... for instance, the new boyfriend lives just around the corner from dad, dad is not allowed within 50 metres of her, so she takes him back to court to have the AVO amended so that he has to drive a different route to get into town on pension day etc, she also often drives by his house because she feels the need to 'keep an eye on him' and she seems to be loving it?! .... I haven't spoken to dad since Easter last year as he was just bringing to much stress, hassle, drama, you name it onto myself and little family, involving the children etc, yet i cant help but feel sorry for him to some degree as his world is crumbing down around him, his doing?.... maybe.... but it must feel horrible to feel like your whole family has abandoned you.... having said that i don't know if I'm willing to take that path again and allow him into my/our lives as he is 100% a manipulative narcissistic man who will twist and turn you inside out to get what he wants without you even realising it... and yet he is my dad *sigh*.... what will be will be i guess, and as I'm feeling all this I'm reminded that during this past 9 months of no contact he has made no effort himself, no cards for the kids birthdays, Christmas etc, and it is a two way street, i know if i was in his position i would be at least sending cards even at the risk that they may return to me in the post, which is what he would be thinking.....
Enough of that, just needed to offload! Back to my success, very proud of my efforts and enjoying pro points, not tracking every single day, but most days i do, and I'm only exercising a few days a week, i think i may need to up this in the near future, if i can fit it in between the housework, the kids activities, the ironing ( i iron for others for a few extra $$) and working 6 nights, far out that looks hectic when i write it down!!
During the first 6 weeks of 2012 we have seen friends go through a lot of heartache, one mate, 36 years old has had a stroke, only a minor stroke and he is doing well but its a bloody worry. Another friend who is 40 has had a heart attack and is scheduled for a bypass, wtf, these are things we imagine we don't have to concern ourselves with at our age, I'll be 33 this year and Jase will be 35, these events have shocked me to the core and made me re-evaluate my reasons for getting healthy, some how it doesn't feel like I'm just trying to lose weight any more, I'm looking at the bigger picture...
In other news I'm still dealing with my immature mother who seems hell bent on destroying my father, they have been separated for a year now, she has just lodged her divorce papers, is 'on with' what was dads best mate, and is taking dad to court at the drop of a hat for what she says are breaches of the AVO she has in place, what i don't get is how she always manages to be everywhere he is and she then says its him.... for instance, the new boyfriend lives just around the corner from dad, dad is not allowed within 50 metres of her, so she takes him back to court to have the AVO amended so that he has to drive a different route to get into town on pension day etc, she also often drives by his house because she feels the need to 'keep an eye on him' and she seems to be loving it?! .... I haven't spoken to dad since Easter last year as he was just bringing to much stress, hassle, drama, you name it onto myself and little family, involving the children etc, yet i cant help but feel sorry for him to some degree as his world is crumbing down around him, his doing?.... maybe.... but it must feel horrible to feel like your whole family has abandoned you.... having said that i don't know if I'm willing to take that path again and allow him into my/our lives as he is 100% a manipulative narcissistic man who will twist and turn you inside out to get what he wants without you even realising it... and yet he is my dad *sigh*.... what will be will be i guess, and as I'm feeling all this I'm reminded that during this past 9 months of no contact he has made no effort himself, no cards for the kids birthdays, Christmas etc, and it is a two way street, i know if i was in his position i would be at least sending cards even at the risk that they may return to me in the post, which is what he would be thinking.....
Enough of that, just needed to offload! Back to my success, very proud of my efforts and enjoying pro points, not tracking every single day, but most days i do, and I'm only exercising a few days a week, i think i may need to up this in the near future, if i can fit it in between the housework, the kids activities, the ironing ( i iron for others for a few extra $$) and working 6 nights, far out that looks hectic when i write it down!!
Friday, January 6, 2012
So far so good, very pleased with our overall efforts, Jason and I have decided to weigh in on Saturday morning to allow a bit of leniency Saturday evenings, being back at work is helping heaps to, evenings are my dangerzone, my pig out time, so being busy and not in my own kitchen is great!
Very proud of our middle child, Dylan, he loves his food and is a chubby little man, but recently he has said hes been feeling uncomfortable with himself and is noticing that other kids his age are smaller etc, so with a little encouragement (defiantly no pushing) he is being 150% more active, has stopped snacking completely, is eating fruit, having smaller meals, and and is walking with Jason every other night, almost a week in and you can see his stomach is pulling in and the self esteem is raising dramatically, pretty damn impressive efforts for a 10 year old! Actually i think his efforts and helping mine and Jason's, we want to set a good example and are also following Dylan's smart choices... win win id say!
On the weekend i plan to track down and try out some low point muffin recipes, i think they'll be handy for lunchbox's when school goes back, only last night i was thinking about everything that goes into the lunchboxes and about how much less they are are eating at home, so im thinking i might toss the chips and high sugar bars for low fat yogurts, low point muffin, a piece of fruit and a healthy roll, sounds like a plan :o)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)