So it seems yet again i get half way to my destination, i get extremely happy with my efforts, and i hit the pause button.... usually during this time i also pile the kg's back on but im pleased to say this time it hasnt happened, well i have put on 1kg but not the usual 5+, i put that down to work, being constantly on the run every night....
Im not overly stressed, i feel happy where im at, 75kg, size 14, BUT, my goal is 65kg, comfortable size 12, sooooo im hitting it again, slowly but surely i will downsize again. The main drive is that my whole winter wardrobe is size 12 and im spending big $$ just to buy the next size up haha.
Its strange, a couple of years ago i was hell bent on being a super skinny size 10 but these days i have no desire to be so slim, i think ive finally reached that point of self acceptance, i like me, infact i love me, i love my gorgeous hubby and kiddies, they keep me going and give me strength when times get tough and they are all i need, my extended family seems to have drifted to the back of my mind, my sister i see only at christmas and she will call in on the kids birthdays at 9'o'clock at night stay for 10 mins and then say she has to leave and take off, she is a user and the moment i refused to be used this is all we got from her but thats fine, shes a twit, id rather not see her. Mum is strange, given the history there will always be tension between us yet she thinks we are the best of friends, she is so fake even the kids see through her and point her fakeness out to me which i try to dismiss to them as id like them to have a good nan/grandchildren relationship despite our lack of relationship... and dad well i spoke to him briefly a couple of weeks back, hes a loon, he has seriously lost his shit, there have always been mental issues and i think given the fact that i removed myself from it for almost 12 months it really stands out now, but the kids have been asking to see him, so before easter i will see him again and have a chat on how things will be, he can only visit when invited, not call constantly, not expect that i be at his beck n call 24/4, not talk about mum with me or the kids (he is still extremely obsessed with her) and if he cant play by the rules he will be told to once again step out of our lives... simple really.
