never look back!

this is my new phrase to live by... never look back... eyes front and keep going forwards and your past can not control you!

I feel as if Ive come a long way these last few months, Ive let go of a lot of 'uglies' and have taken steps to take hold of my life.

My father is currently not a part of my life, Ive never felt quite so 'free' and didn't realise just how much control he had over me, my life, my decisions, my thoughts, my feelings... everything! I dont feel guilty but there is still a sense of 'expectation' there, like I'm expected to put up with his crap but I'm working through it....

My mother I'm struggling with, trying to forgive and rebuild some sort of relationship but at the same time putting myself, hubby and our children first. Mum is showing her true colours, she is a very selfish ans self centred woman, I'm struggling with that, i guess its the realisation that i will never have the loving relationship with her that Ive always craved, but hey that's life, eyes front, keep moving forward...

Me, I'm doing well, It took a while but hubby scored a new job as a parts interpreter at the local Toyota outlet, bit of a change from butchering, better hours, better pay, better people to work with and for, Its great to have my care free happy husband back! His new hours have made it possible for me to get some work too, I literally fell into a job at a local restaurant, assisting in the kitchen, making en tree's assisting the chef, doing deserts, and all the usual cleaning duties that come with it, I'm quite proud of myself actually as hubby was talking to friends about me getting a job at woolies supermarket but i did this all myself, and I'm loving it!

I feel so positive, and very confident of late, my weight has gone up a few kg but I'll get that in check! one thing at a time, one foot in front of the other.... never look back!