Friday, May 28, 2010

stop... rewind.... replay

Right I've decided its time to stop all this nonsense and f***ing around.

I'm throwing in the towel with Cohen's for the time being as i simply cannot (or will not, whatever the case may be) commit 100% to the program. I didn't want to do this because in all honesty I didn't want it to be yet another diet/meal plan/eating program ( lifestyle program the folks at Cohen's call it, but at the moment its farrrrr from being within the boundaries of my lifestyle )

If I'm going to be honest with myself, putting it aside for now and continuing on with healthy eating is NOT failing, but continuing to eat cohens for 2 meals a day and binging in the evening because I'm so hungry and exhausted is failing, well in my eyes anyway.

I was going to return to WW online, i loved this program before, it feels great and the results are there to be seen, but to be honest im not willing to spend and more money on weight loss programs, i do have my old weight watchers points books so if need be could use them but i do like the computer based food diary's sooooo all that being said im using Calorie King, its a calorie based system and its free.

So its time to stop punishing myself for falling short of my goal and time to start again, from the beginning with a more do-able program. And at the end of the day its simple isn't it, shut your mouth (eat less, eat healthier, track your food intake) and move your ass (exercise) and the weigh will come off!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Well another week has passed. Bloody hell this year seems to be flying by!

Last week was good, great infact from Monday to Friday, but Saturday and Sunday seemed to be one long constant binge which has no doubt undone all the hard work i put in during the week :(

I have no idea what is wrong with me?! I think i need a new appraoch to this weight loss, ive been looking at it in desperation, feeling that i desperatly need to get the weight off, i think that comes from the fact that my mum was extremely obese having lost alomost 50kg about 5 years ago but ever since reaching her goal she has battled and has slowly regained almost 20kgs, and also the fact that my sister is morbidly obese weighing in at over 160kg, i know if i let myself go i too could be there, its in the genes..... i NEVER want to be there *sigh*

Maybe i need to set in place a few rewards for myself? being a busy mum of 5 i dont get much (none really) me time, so maybe rewarding myself with somthing to pamper myself when i reach each mini goal.... I shall give that some thought and perhaps post on it later in the week.

For now i will go back to taking it one day and one meal at a time. what else can i do? Forget the weekends slip up and put a LOT more focus into next weekend.


This weekend just gone we had a surprise visit from Jasons dad and his partner, which was lovely, it was quite funny really, we arrived at the kids footy Saturday morning at 7.45 and as i was unloading the pram i was telling Jason that Id woken from a dream that morning that his dad and partner turned up at footy that morning and that they came walking from between the trees (pointed them out to Jason) to greet us. "Nahh doubt that'll happen" he says, i went and got lil Deagan from his car seat and Jase yells out "Erica, look at this" he's pointing to the trees id just pointed out and would you believe it theres Frank and Marie walking over to us!!!! unreal i tell ya!!! We had a lovely weekend with them, the kids really enjoyed seeing them and was so good to catch up.

Monday, May 17, 2010

In the words of my teenage son..... last week = EPIC FAIL :(

I actually managed to gain 1.3kg, not good.

New day, new week, trying to have a better outlook on it all and start again (again), its no use focusing on the bad, think positive, positive... positiveeeee.... boy im tryin.

Ive been quite moody of late, havent been sleeping very well and wakinug up at odd hours hot as hell, sweating even. Mother dear is convinced its somthing to do with menopause, apparantly my nan went through it at 27! by god i hope not, going in to get some blood tests done today.

My aim this week is to take things a day at a time, a meal at a time if need be, plan ahead, and follow my cohens program to a T.... no snacking... no sneaking treats... if im hungry then i will push through somehow. Ive actually been considering WW online again but dont want to sign up and charge it to my credit card unless im 100% positive i'll follow it, which right now im not, grasping at straws i think, looking for an easier answer when i know there is no easy way, no matter what plan i choose in the end its down to me, if i follow it i will see results, if i sneak treats and cheat i will only get more disapointment.....

lets see what the day braings shall we? 1 meal at a time :)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

hmmm last post 31st March, today is 11th May... needless to say ive dropped my bundle and have been off the rails!!

Im try ohh so hard to get back on track, trying and failing on almost a daily basis....

I will get there...

I will NOT give up and give in to being fat and (un)happy!

i WILL win!!!